Hello, my name is Mervi and this is my blog about everything and nothing.
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Why is support more important than "constructive" criticism?

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supportive

Here's a thing about constructive criticism: Most of the time it's not constructive at all. Giving criticism without sounding arrogant all-knowing-asshole takes skill and most of us don't have it.

When most think they are being constructive they end up being nothing but destructive. Being all "honest" and pointing out the mistakes or things that need improvement results in tearing apart, instead of building on. It's not honest, it's just rude.

See, constructive means building on, not tearing down. To be truly constructive the criticism should be able to enhance the good qualities, instead of plain and simple highlighting what's wrong.

Fixating on what's wrong instead of what's right leads to different sort of backlashes. A common reaction is giving up instead of making it better. Or the subject (or the creator of the subject) will just ignore the criticism and the person giving it all together. Nevertheless there's no learning and there's no building on anything.

Actually we humans are prone to criticize ourselves and our own work in a pretty harsh matter. Therefore most of us don't even need other's to point the mistakes out. We know them already and are bummed by them.

Giving support and finding something good to say is challenging as well. Often it's even harder than being all negative. And by something good I mean more than "nice job" or "good work".

Focusing on what's good is way more effective than focusing on what's not good. You know, catching more flies with honey than vinegar. It gives reason to go on and make the good things better.

Here's a little exercise for all of us: Take something you really dislike or just think it's bad (a photo, a book, a website or anything) and find something plain good about. Think about why it's a good thing and how it's a good thing. Now think how the good thing could be emphasized or improved. Remember to be positive and discard all the negative thoughts. Leave sarcasm and irony out of it as well. How did it feel for you?

Suomeksi (In Finnish): 

Rakentavan kritiikin tulisi olla rakentavaa, ei tuhoavaa. Ja se vaatii taitoa. Hyvien puolien esiin tuominen on tuottavampaa kuin huonojen puolien osoittaminen. Huonojen puolien korostaminen johtaa vain erilaisiin vastareaktioihin, kuten luovuttamiseen tai kritiikin huomioimatta jättämiseen. Joka tapauksessa oppimista ja rakentamista ei tapahdu. Kannustaminen ja hyvien puolien löytäminen on myös haastavaa. Se on kuitenkin paljon tehokkaampaa. Nappaat enemmän kärpäsiä hunajalla kuin etikalla. Pieni harjoitus: Etsi käsiisi jotakin josta et tykkää tai joka on mielestäsi huono juttu. Etsi siitä jotakin kerrassaan hyvää. Miksi se on hyvää ja miten se hyvää? Nyt mieti miten sitä hyvää voisi korostaa tai parantaa vielä paremmaksi. Muista olla positiivinen ja heitä mielestäsi kaikki huonot puolet. Jätä myös sarkasmi ja ironia tämän ajatusleikin ulkopuolelle. Miltä se tuntui?

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2 users have voted.
18 May, 2012 - 15:48 |

Asked and answered: Do you use Pinterest?

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<br /> My Pinterest boards (May 2012)

I asked and you answered.The question was about using Pinterest and 47% of you (that's 8 out of 17) said no. 24% (4 out of 17) told they have an account but never use it. Only 29% (5 out of 17) confessed using Pinterest.

This doesn't say much about Pinterest, to be honest. It says something about those who follow this blog and their lack of interest in services such as Pinterest. I'm guessing most of those who voted were men.

This is mostly interesting only for me and the future of the site. Besides, 17 is not much of a take, is it?

It's been reported the Pinterest growth curve has declined. Less people are signing in, less are pinning. It just doesn't really show for a regular user. There's loads of active users there, pinning their until their wrists hurt.

What a regular user sees is a constant flow of pins and the most enthusiastic pinners going on and on. Amongst those I follow the amount of pins doesn't stop, it just seems there more every day. Most likely those who came to the service to see what's the hype about are now leaving, as the active ones are staying in.

Maybe the lawsuit scare has been part of the reason of the decline of users as well. Some have been deleting their Pinterest boards and accounts, even if it could be an overreaction. I think the biggest reason however is that usual thing: The hype has started to pass and only the most interested parties are continuing to use the service.

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2 users have voted.
17 May, 2012 - 21:41 |

Que queue?

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Queue

Queueing is a form of art. Or at least it's mighty difficult to most people.

Today, at a clothing store, I was in a line waiting to get to the fitting room. There were two girls before me and two after at that point.

The shop assistant had been busy in getting people in and out from the booths. She was coming just back from getting someone in as a girl in her twenties waltzed pass the line.

The shop assistant asked the girl if she was coming to fit clothes. She answered yes and mumbled something about not knowing if she had to queue or not. I could only think: "Yeah, you idiot! What in the earth do you think we are lining here for with the clothes in our hands?" Taking a clue wasn't one of her strengths, obviously.

It can be really hard to pay attention, to notice the other people around and be selfless. And I guess it can be really challenging to think and be smart. But why wouldn't you try, at least?

Photo by Banalities under Creative Commons license.

Suomeksi (In Finnish): 

Olen huomannut, että jonottaminen voi olla tuskallisen vaikeaa monille. Tänään jonotin pääsyä vaatekaupan sovituskoppiin parin muun henkilön kanssa, kun ehkäpä parikymppinen tyttö käveli suoraan jonon ohi. Myyjä, jolla oli ollut kiirettä ohjata porukkaa koppeihin ja pois kopeista, kysyi tytöltä oliko hän menossa sovittamaan. Tämä vastasi kyllä ja mutisi sitten jotakin siitä, ettei tiennyt pitäisikö jonottaa vai ei. Pystyin vain miettimään: "Kyllä, senkin idiootti! Mitä sinä luulit, että me muut jonotetaan tässä vaatteet kourissamme?" Voi olla vaikeaa keskittyä, huomata muut ihmiset ja olla epäitsekäs. Ja ehkäpä on myös sangen haastavaa ajatella ja olla fiksu. Mutta olisiko niin hankalaa edes yrittää?

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5 users have voted.
16 May, 2012 - 23:33 |

Hey hey, it's TWO years old!

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Birthday Cake

It's been now little over two years since I launched this blog. This isn't my first blog exactly, I had one 2003 to 2005 (if I remember right). That one was in Finnish and I built my own little blogging system with PHP and MySQL. Things have changed since, a lot. And I think most people have forgot I used to blog back then.

This one in English and running on Drupal was first called By the way and later renamed as Tomato Branch. Now it's just tasselflower, as I decided to unify my online presence. And if you wonder what the heck is tasselflower, take a look on how I became one.

Through this time not just the name has changed. This blog has seen a whole bunch of different designs. I use this like my own personal sandbox, tweaking and testing stuff.

Some interesting statistics can be fetched from Google Analytics. For instance currently this blog gets only about 200-300 visits per month. Not much. Average visit takes almost one and half minute and average amount of pages visited is a little less than two.

Half of the visits has been by new visitors. Usually on a good day around 20 visitors come by. For some reason I still don't know on March 28 2011 the blog took in a strange flock of 289 visitors.

I want to thank everyone who has, during these past two years, visited the site. I want to give special thanks to those who have commented, voted on polls and otherwise interacted with me through this blog.

Photo by Will Clayton under Creative Commons license.

Suomeksi (In Finnish): 

Tämä blogini on ollut nyt pystyssä vähän päälle kaksi vuotta. Eka bloginihan tämä ei ole, alunperin bloggasin joskus vuosina 2003-2005. Silloin kokonaan suomeksi ja itse rakentamallani alustalla. Tämä tapaus on vaihtanut nimeä ja ulkoasua jonkun kerran. Googlen Analytics kertoo, että vierailijoita täällä käy non 200-300 kuukauden aikana ja keskimääräinen käynti kestää puolisentoista minuuttia. Puolet kävijöistä tämän kahden vuoden aikana on olleet uusia. Haluan kiittää kaikkia täällä käyneitä. Erityisesti haluan kiittää teistä niitä, jotka ovat jättäneet kommentteja, äänestäneet kyselyissä ja muutoin vuorovaikuttaneet kanssani tämän blogin kautta.

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6 users have voted.
15 May, 2012 - 22:59 |

Twitter Tuesday: When and how often should I tweet?

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“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”

Okay, I must confess something: This week's Twitter Tuesday has a tad misleading headline. There's really no one straight answer to the question. No, not really.

But there's some data others have collected. And this data may help you to decide when and how often you'll want to tweet. Yes, in the end it's up to you, no matter what the so called gurus will tell you.

Some say it's best to tweet on around 10 to 12 times a day. This way you'll be noticed, but won't be too noisy. Please notice that in my opinion the @replies aren't usually counted in this.

There's even at least one a study about timing your Tweets. It shows that tweeting 1 to 4 times per hour will result to more people to notice your Tweets. Or at least click on the links in your Tweets.

However a lot may be too much. A friend once told me they rarely follow anyone who tweets more than four times a day.

That's a low threshold, yes, but I know some of Twitter users don't want their feeds choke on Tweets and ReTweets by one or two people. I know I don't.

Many "experts" will tell you the best time to get your Tweets out is around 5 to 6 PM. That's when people are getting or starting to get off from work, but aren't quite yet turned to their "home phase".

Of course now you must remember that when it's 5 PM in where ever you are from, it could be 9 AM in another part of a world. And not everyone works 9 to 5 PM.

Common sense says though that tweeting in the morning can obviously be futile. People are tired, on a bad mood and busy at the beginning of the day. They have work, kids to take to school and so forth.

I myself don't really follow all these rules. I'm rebellious in that way. But if they make sense to you, why not?

So what's my advice? Well, I recommend to give it a try, test it. See what times and how often is best for you and for what you want from Twitter.

Sources:
Getting Your Writing Noticed on Twitter
[Infographic] How to Get More Clicks on Twitter
The Science of Social Timing Part 1: Social Networks (Infographic)

Photo by Kate Ter Haar under Creative Commons license.

Suomeksi (In Finnish): 

Suoraan sanottuna ei ole olemassa yhtä simppeliä vastausta siihen kuinka usein ja mihin aikaan kannattaa twiitata. Jotkut tahot sanovat, että jos haluat tulla huomatuksi, mutta et olla liian äänekäs, on parasta twiitata 10-12 kertaa päivässä. On tehty jopa ainakin yksi tutkimus Twitter-viestien ajoittamisesta. Sen mukaan olisi syytä viestiä 1-4 kertaa tunnissa. Liika voi kuitenkin olla liikaa. Kellonajaksi ovat "asiantuntijat" ehdottaneet noin klo 17-18, kun useat Twitterin käyttäjät ovat juuri lähdössä töistä, mutta eivät vielä ihan "kotiutuneet". Tosin kello viisi täällä saattaa olla kello yhdeksän jossain muualla. Aamut ovat kuitenkin ehkä huonoin aika, ihan järkikin sen sanoo. Itse en tosin seuraa näitä sääntöjä, mutta jos niissä tuntuu olevan järkeä, kokeile toki. Oikeastaan suosittelenkin kokeilemaan, mitkä ajat ja kuinka usein toimii parhaiten sinulle ja asiallesi.

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6 users have voted.
15 May, 2012 - 14:59 |